Recently while preparing for my 2nd attempt of the upcoming Private Investigator Exam I have been watching a lot more Cleveland Cavalier games.  The hard work of Anderson Varejao and Ben Wallace inspire me to study harder for my test.  Who would have thought the ability to rebound, set picks, and get set up for easy dunks by a superstar could get you between $8 million and $14 million dollars a year?  If only I was a giant…  Anyways, that’s another story.  As the Chicago Bulls tried cut down the 18 point lead the Cavs had on them, the Bulls came down the court on a 2 on 2 fastbreak layup.  Ben Wallace and Varejao were trailing the play.  Lebron was guarding Tyrus Thomas who was ready to spot up in the corner if the ball came out to him.  Derrick Rose had the ball and drove to the basket against Mo Williams.  He went up for a layup and then out of nowhere flies Lebron James to block the much shorter Derrick Rose.  It was as if a Lion pounced on a small helpless bunny rabbit. 

It wasn’t just a light deflection of the ball to a teammate, it was a monstrous block that had the ability shame the best of us.  It was the type of block that would start a riot by the fans in a streetball game.  Was this block necessary to send a message to the Baby Bulls who were already down by 18 points?  Why did Lebron try to send the ball as hard as he could off the glass?   Was Lebron trying to shame the Bulls so much that it would give them thoughts of committing Seppuku the same way Ancient Japanese Samurai did when they felt dishonor?  This made me think back to the numerous times I had seen Lebron James do this to people before and the disturbing trend that many of these embarrassing blocks have been against the shorter members of the NBA.  My thoughts brought me to the realization that Lebron James picks on the little man.

I began to research evidence for my theory, viewing highlight reels of Lebron.  I came across tons of evidence.  I saw Lebron running out of nowhere, timing his kill, and blocking T.J. Ford’s fast break layup attempt.  Then again in a 2008 playoff game against the Boston Celtics, Lebron pinned Rajan Rondo’s layup to the glass for everyone to see.  Then there was the Cavs playing the Knicks.  Six foot one-inch Chris Duhon drove to the basket and Lebron sent his layup all the way to half court.  There was plenty of evidence, and every time the same routine.  Lebron comes out of nowhere from off the ball (sometimes I wonder if he came off the bench and into the game).  His eyes light up with an intense rage as if someone just insulted his mother, first-born child, and his grandmother.  He times his steps awaiting his kill to maximize the embarassment factor.  He jumps high into the air staring down at his next victim.  And then a large cheer comes from the crown as Lebron has just claimed his next victim, sending the ball as far as possible away from the basket.

I can hear the cynics now, pointing out the fact that Lebron just blocked Yao Ming the last time they played Houston.  Yes, I remember that block, but it only happened once.  Lebron rarely blocks big men.  When is the last time you saw him send back one of Shaq’s dunks?  What about Dwight Howard or Amare Stoudemire?  Those guys score a lot of their points in the paint which is an easy place to get blocks, yet I don’t see Lebron blocking big men that much.  Some would argue Yao Ming is a little man in a big man’s body, but that is another story.

Besides monstrous blocks on the small guards of the NBA, I started to remember some of Lebron’s best dunks.  I recall two where he instantly embarrassed the people he dunked on.  One came in a game against the Miami Heat a few years back.  It was a two on one fast break and Lebron just received a bounce pass and decided to make a poster out of the smaller Damon Jones.  Halfway through the dunk Damon Jones begged for mercy but his pleads were not met.  I am surprised Lebron didn’t give Damon two punches for flinching.  Again, Lebron was on another fast break against the Boston Celtics before they were good and had Delonte West on the team.  Lebron caught the ball off a pass and kneed Delonte West in the chest as he flew over him for the one handed dunk.  Delonte West fell hard to the ground as Lebron fell ever so gracefully back to the earth.  I was seriously worried for Delonte West’s health.  I had never seen someone get dunked on so hard.  Why had Lebron dunked over both of them so hard?  Why not a strong power layup like he gives to so many others?  Do you think there is any coincidence in the fact that both Damon Jones and Delonte West later on ended up playing with Lebron on the Cavs?  Some would say trades or a better opportunity, but the truth is they chose to play beside Lebron to escape the future embarrassment.

We all know Lebron possess the ability to jump high, block whoever he wants, and dunk on the world.  As a person who stands 5′5″ tall I am offended.  We already have it hard enough trying to get girls, reaching the tops of refrigerators, and knowing we are at a disadvantage when it comes to being the president because statistics shows the taller man always wins.  I simply ask him to spread the wealth amongst the rest of the league.  Vince Carter was another high flier who was in the business of posterizing players.  His clients included Alonzo Mourning, Dikembe Mutombo, and Shaquille Oneal.  With Lebrons ability he could most certainly posterize the likes of Dwight Howard or Greg Oden.  I don’t want to hear anything about the dunks Lebron had over Tim Duncan and KG.  The one over Duncan was soft and KG was just a third help defender who got caught under the basket.  Neither of them even jumped to contest the dunks.  They don’t even compare to what Vince has done.

Why so much hate for the little man?  Is he secretly mad that he had a growth spurt in high school which eventually led to play small forward instead of point guard?  Did a younger Lebron used to get blocked all the time when he was 6 feet tall?  And1 streetball and mixtapes were very popular during Lebron’s early age.  Is there some unseen footage somewhere of Lebron getting embarrassed And1 style by a little guy and being forced off the court because the shame was too much for any man to play with?  Only Lebron knows.